How Appostolic succession led me to the Catholic church
The story of Werner Lottering
He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
Matthew 16:15-19
My journey of Christian faith started with me getting validly baptized at the age of 17. My upbringing in a Protestant Christian environment exposed me to the beauties of Jesus early on. It was specifically in the Pentecostal and Charismatic traditions that I started sharpening my teeth with the Bible. This led to me deciding to get baptized (I was not baptized as an infant) after realizing the cleansing of my soul from sin that was needed in this initial and first Sacrament. Almost immediately after my baptism, I started experiencing the work of the Holy Spirit – seeing the needs of others more clearly, growing in love for God, and experiencing a desire to serve Him as best I can. I started my studies for a BCom in Business Management at the North-West University in Potchefstroom. I initially attended a Charismatic, non-denominational church community. I made solid connections in the 10 months I was there, but as I grew in appreciation for Reformed theology, I decided to rather attend a “Reformed” or Calvinistic Baptist church community. I was drawn by the seemingly majestic deepness of this set of theology, which has its origins in the Protestant effort for reformation in the 1500s. But it was only a few months of holding to this theology that I left Calvin and his ideas of grace at the door. However, I still attended this Baptist community and made good friends over the two years I spent there. The beauty and truth of the Bible have always drawn me to think deeper about its contents, leading me to fall in love with theology and history – history as well, since the Bible is not an esoteric book of ideas but a story happening in space and time which culminates in the incarnation of Jesus.
In my final year of studies, I started to think more about certain historical and apologetic issues of the Christian faith: the problem of evil and suffering, the way we ought to understand what it means to humans in a relativistic society, but above all, reading the Bible critically. As I mentioned, I loved the Bible, but at that time, I did not have a thorough understanding of the historical-critical study of the Bible, especially of the Old Testament. Out of a desire for truth, I started to read more critical literature. Unfortunately, this led me on a path over the next year of having deep and, at times, lonely moments of introspection on the Faith I love so much. Because I am an inquisitive person by nature, I forced myself to work through these intellectual issues, which I only realized subsequently was contributed by cracks in Protestant ways of dealing with these issues and a logical end of a sort of Christian relativism stemming from relying too much on my brain and conscience to determine what I need to believe, not on the historical witness of the Church since I acted as the agent of my own beliefs (as long as I don’t leave the “essentials of the faith” which could not be conclusively determined by the Protestant Christians I relied on to help me). Within this period, I moved to Johannesburg and went to another Baptist church community, leaving them in my stage of agnosticism in the Christian Faith after a few months. This was a period of darkness in spiritual life and thoughts. I returned to that community after my “revert” to Christianity. This revitalized faith, which it seems just flowed out of God’s love for me and not from my strength or effort, helped me to grasp the beauties of Jesus almost as if I were a new Christian! And this is where my story takes its “Catholic turn” (but actually not). Because what I soon realized was that the Catholic Church, with her 2000-year history, which encompasses her wisdom and motherly love, covered my longings for consistency and trust in a faithful God. Not just in terms of intellectual questions and how to navigate them, but that Truth is knowable to the fullest extent we can get on this earth through the Bride He purchased. But before I get ahead of myself, let me just touch on how I got to consider the Catholic Church. In the last few years, I also started to grow in appreciation for good and structured liturgy. A liturgy that is reminiscent of the Old Testament worship of God. A worship that is truly a meeting of heaven and earth. I was drawn to more higher-Protestant worship, such as that found in various Anglican church communities. I bought the Book of Common Prayer and started attending an Anglo-Catholic church community, i.e., an Anglican body that is Protestant in various areas of its doctrine but does not relinquish all of its Catholic heritage. I also appreciated the fact that it acted as via media between Protestantism and Catholicism/Orthodoxy – the best of both worlds, it seemed. I was also spending more time reading Church History and how we ought to understand the development of Christian doctrine. This is where my true struggles with the Protestant views came forth from. This led me on a path to understand more fully the Marian dogmas, for example, and not just go on what I have seen or read on that topic from a mostly Protestant perspective for most of my life. It was especially the doctrine of Apostolic Succession that also drew my attention. This is the idea that there are direct lines of succession between the Apostles and the men they appointed in their places, the Bishops. This is on full display, above all, in the Church of Rome – the fact that the Bishop of Rome, or the Pope, is a direct successor of St. Peter. The Anglicans have a doctrine of Apostolic Succession, but I realized that there were some inconsistencies in this understanding, specifically in the fact that there is so much diversity in how this plays out in reality. Since they have not been in communion with any Apostolic Church (a Church with a direct lineage back to the Apostles and by 431 AD had been part of one undivided Church such as the Catholic and Orthodox Churches). Unfortunately, this then filtered into crucial elements of their understanding of doctrines such as what the Priesthood is, the Sacraments, and even different views on the Eucharist and other crucial elements of Christian faith and morals. This model and understanding is not the model of Apostolic Succession that was held by the Early Church. This can also apply to various Protestant Christian groups who have differing views on what a church is and how it should be governed, what Jesus means in so much of His words and sayings, what the Eucharist is, what Baptism is – its modes of practices and effects - and so the list goes on. I was trying to discover an authentic and ancient Christianity on my own but in a sea of confusion about what the central beliefs of Christianity really are. Did God not carry through His promises and prophecies of a New Covenant people who will be part of His Kingdom here on earth? Did Jesus lie when He said that the Apostles will be led in truth by the Holy Spirit that proceeds from Him and His Father? Should Christianity be just like the consumerist world we live in, where we pick and choose what we like to believe from a Bible whose very origin, distribution, recognition, and interpretation lies in the hands of the Catholic Church Jesus established on the person and confession of St. Peter (despite his flawed human nature), the new Eliakim figure to act as the “prime minister” of His Church, the new Davidic and Messianic Kingdom here on Earth and the other Apostles who were the first leaders? Not because of their inherent goodness or power but because the Holy Spirit uses them as the vehicles of service to the Universal Church of Jesus. Did God’s faithfulness to His promises stop when the Apostle John died near the end of the 1st century AD, and the Church, under the leadership of people appointed by the Apostles, slowly but steadily lost the plot until, after 1500 years, a group of people who might have had some good intentions initially, decided they know better than that Church, with her human and Divine constitution, founded by Jesus Christ Himself and entrusted to the Apostles he appointed? Was the Blessed Virgin Mary a sinful woman who will one day be judged by her own Son in the Final Judgement despite being the holiest creature, the New Ark of the Covenant, to carry and bear the very Word of God, the creator, and sustainer of the universe? These and many of the similar types of questions and reasonings lead me to a crossroads.
Although I am highly appreciative of my Protestant background and what I have learned from many people along the way, the signs of truth pointed to the Catholic Church. Do I build my life on a seemingly flawed and cracked foundation and just explain it as human sinfulness or on a foundation that is steadfast, and despite its imperfections is strong enough to remain in place despite the winds and waves of heresies and people who want to destroy it, but at this point you know the decision I made… I made the decision, by the grace of God, to enter into full communion with the Catholic Church. Despite being uncommon (at least for now) for someone from an Afrikaner background to make this decision, language, background, and ethnicity should not dispel us from trying our best to seek truth wherever it is to be found. In this case, the fullness of truth in the Catholic Church of Jesus Christ, the Son of God – the One truly present with Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the Blessed and Holy Eucharist.
